She Dumped Me and Never Contacted Me Again

Today I'm going to evidence yous the three nearly prevalent thoughts that your ex is thinking about if they don't contact you.

Information technology's probably also relevant to mention that each of these 3 things that I'm going to talk about today are based on my experience as a passenger vehicle and founded on award winning research (more than on that in a minute.)

So, if you've always wondered what is going on in your exes listen when they don't contact you look no further.

Your answers are below!

What The Heck Is Your Ex Thinking Almost When They Don't Contact You?

In all there are iii thoughts or overlying concepts that are going to exist very prevalent in your exes mind if they don't contact y'all,

1. The Pendulum Swing
2. They Have To Contact Me Start
3. The Peak End Rule

At present, I don't expect you to understand any of these concepts. In fact, I'd exist shocked if y'all did because exactly one third of the answers are from my own findings and I haven't actually talked about it that much.

But I'm rambling.

The residual of this article is going to be very direct forward.

I'k going to define each of these concepts for you.

Permit'south begin with my personal favorite.

one. What Is "The Pendulum Swing?"

Before I showtime getting philosophical I'd similar to inquire you if you know what a pendulum is?

No?

Well, rather than have me sit hither and explicate it for you it'south probably better if I show it to you,

Essentially it's something that swings from left to right.

More often than not you'll encounter a lot of physics professors using information technology to explain 1 of newtons laws but I actually think it's the perfect analogy to describe what goes on within of someone when they go through a breakup.

Pretend for a moment that the pendulum actually was an indicator for how you were feeling internally later on a breakup,

On one side of the spectrum (the left side) you lot have all of the bad feelings you could be feeling,

• Anger
• Resentment
• Low

And on the other side of the spectrum (the right side) you have all the good feelings that you could be feeling,

• Missing your ex
• Loving your ex
• Wanting to go back together

Most of my clients would impale to have their exes feel this way near them.

Speaking of clients, ane common complaint I hear from them almost their exes is that they wish they didn't go all of these mixed signals.

One moment their ex is asking them something similar,

Practise you always think most getting back together?

Well-nigh implying that they do want to get dorsum together and then the next infinitesimal they can't get a response from them. They are left in that awful limbo land.

The pendulum explains what is going on in this instance.

Over the years I've witnessed an interesting pattern taking place.

Exes tend to get through a pendulum of emotions afterwards a breakup.

Where ane moment they offset feeling good,

And the adjacent moment they start feeling bad,

It'south during these "bad moments" that you lot'll find that your ex doesn't want to talk to you.

Interesting to think that there is this internal boxing going on inside your ex, isn't it?

But if you dubiety this concept exists I'd like to turn your attention to your own experience with breakups. You've probably experienced this pendulum of emotions, oasis't you?

So, that is the commencement thing going on in your exes caput later a breakup that would cause them to non contact yous.

Let's motion on to some other mutual thought I see a lot of the time.

2. They Have To Contact Me Beginning

I want to show yous something.

Hold on for a moment while I look it up…

Ah, there it is,

This is a film of me taken nearly 10 years ago a few weeks after I had been through a breakup.

Look how awful I await.

I'm kidding!

Anyways, I posted this picture because every unmarried time I look at it I recall of that pause upward.

I remember very clearly I had a mantra,

There is no style I'm contacting her first, she is going to contact me

I'yard pretty stubborn.

I am a taurus after all.

Anyways, my ex was pretty stubborn also which meant that we were in the midst of an epic stand off,

Mayhap the most interesting thing was the reasoning for why I wouldn't contact her first.

Ten years ago I was eighteen years old.

Which meant that I wasn't exactly the most experienced with relationships. It likewise meant I still bought into this thought that after every break up there is a winner and a loser.

And in my heed I'd start to "lose the breakdown" if I reached out to my ex.

Therefore, she was going to have to talk to me first if she wanted to talk to me.

Yous're dying to know who contacted who outset, aren't you?

It was her.

She was actually very clever in how she approached information technology to.

You lot run across, in 2008 Hurricane Ike hit my hometown,

I grew up in a lilliputian identify chosen Friendswood, Texas which is very close to where the video above was taken.

Anyways, the Hurricane went over our firm and she reached out to cheque on me and make sure I was ok.

To this mean solar day I have always regretted how mean I was to her when she reached out. You come across, upon seeing that I was "winning the breakup" I got very arrogant and said something like this to her,

I regret it because I think she was simply trying to exist nice but "winning the breakup" was more important to me at the time.

Anyways, I am telling yous this story considering I want y'all to see how seriously some people have this concept of making you lot reach out first.

And it could be going through your exes heed if they don't talk to you.

3. The Peak Finish Rule

The peak-finish rule has been revolutionary for my book readers who take actually embraced it.

Why?

Because it gives you insight into how man beings think and human action when they call up experiences.

So, what is "the pinnacle-end rule?"

Put simply, human beings remember experiences based on how they felt at the peak of the experience (it's virtually intense role) and the end of the feel.

In other words, when we think back to experiences we don't account for the sum of it'due south parts nosotros account for mostly those ii parts.

It looks a little like this,

Those two snapshots of time brand up the bulk of our retentivity when we retrieve back to the experience.

So, what does this take to practice with your ex not contacting you.

Well, it's really an extension of what I talked about above with the pendulum.

If yous think, the pendulum moves from left to right, from bad to good.

The pinnacle-end rule describes the motivation for why the pendulum moves.

Consider for a moment that your ex is remembering your time together and they start thinking well-nigh the peak,

The acme of your feel together is arguably the strongest and nigh heady part to remember about.

Most likely it's going to cause the pendulum to swing to the right,

A few days later your ex starts to call back the end of your human relationship,

This of form causes the pendulum to swing to the left as they recall how bad they felt at the end of your fourth dimension together,

Practise you see how these to concepts work together in tandem?

Practice y'all see some of the motivation behind why your ex may not desire to talk to you?

It's pretty crazy, right?

Let's do a quick recap because I dropped some avant-garde stuff onto your plate that I ordinarily only save for my clients.

Conclusion

What nosotros talked about today is pretty advanced then I'm sure there will exist a lot of questions in the comments. If you didn't already know I reply all of my comments personally.

Sometimes I'm a piddling slow about getting back to people only they do get answered somewhen.

So, don't hesitate to inquire a question if something confuses you.

Let's do a quick recap,

• The are iii prevalent thoughts that your ex is likely to call back about if they don't contact yous
• The pendulum
• I'1000 not going to contact them get-go, they'll have to contact me first
• The height cease rule
• The pendulum is just an analogy for the trajectory your emotions take after a pause upwards
• Adopting a mindset of "they'll have to contact me offset" is an case of stubbornness
• The superlative end rule describes the motivation for why your exes emotions chance trajectory after a pause up

Over again, if yous have any questions don't hesitate to ask them below.

adamsprestriall.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-is-your-ex-thinking-if-they-dont-contact-you/

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